We’re having a kid-free wedding

No-kids-Allowed-from-Picnik1Image via Houston Pet Talk

I kind of always knew I didn’t want any kids at my wedding.  I don’t even have a really good reason for wanting this.  It’s probably because we don’t have any kids, my closest friends don’t have any kids (or are just now starting to have babies).  Little ring bearers and flower girls are adorable, but I can totally take them or leave them.  I didn’t feel compelled to have children in our wedding party, and Mr. BC didn’t mind one way or the other.  He didn’t feel our friends with kids would make it to the DR anyway.  As long as we had a reception at home post wedding, he was fine either way.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids… but, I just don’t want them at my wedding.  I struggled A LOT with this decision too.   I feel badly going to a place that kids aren’t allowed, and of course I want my friends with kids to come to our wedding. I asked my travel agent if it was okay/normal to book an adults-only resort.  She was super great in this regard. I think she realized this was what I really wanted, and basically gave me “permission” to have the kind of wedding that I actually wanted.  She reassured me that this was my chance to GIVE our guests a kid-free vacation.  By us selecting an adults-only resort, it gave our guests license to leave their children at home; it removed the guilt from their shoulders.  That was music to my ears.

I really thank her for that too.  I find that so much of wedding planning is not necessarily about what you want, but more so about catering to your guests.  I really want our guests to have a good time and feel appreciated, so I’m trying to think of them as I plan the wedding.  Unfortunately, having a kid-free wedding was one area that would definitely inconvenience parents.  As a people pleaser by nature, I have an hard time standing up for myself, and  for what I actually want.  So I was so happy that my travel agent encouraged this decision, and that Mr. BC was on board as well.

But hive, it is TOUGH telling people that their children are not invited to your wedding.   Whenever people mentioned bringing their kids, I would have to let them know that we’d selected an adults-only resort. I would also offer up the suggestion that they could stay at a nearby family friendly resort, but nobody ended up taking us up on that offer. (And really, I think it turned out for the best anyway.  Staying off property means that those people would have had to pay a daily guest pass fee to attend our wedding functions.  Which sucks.  I didn’t want anyone to have to do that!)

I am sure we lost some attendee’s because they didn’t want to leave their kids at home.  Mr. BC’s closest friends each have children and neither are able to attend.  One person flat out told me he wouldn’t leave his kids at home / travel without them.  And you have to respect that.  It’s a bummer, but it is what it is.

All in all, I am totally happy with our decision to go kid-free.  Everyone can really let their hair down and not worry about a babysitter, or drinking too much.  Per Mr. BC’s request, we’re planning an at-home reception after the wedding which IS kid friendly!  So hopefully those who could not join us in Punta Cana will still be able to come celebrate at home with us.

Swim-up bar and drinks of the day, here we come!


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